God,

do you really think I'm ready for this? why would you put this in my life if you thought I wasn't? are you trying to be ironic or just lovingly difficult? why would you make me wait so long for something that I thought would be the best thing that would ever happen to me, only to give me something that is amazing and absolutely heartwrenching at the same time? what did I do to make you think I needed this to build my character? where did I fall short?